Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
