i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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