new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
