On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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