She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
where am i from again
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
