just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
vagina is talking i cant
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
