He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
