she was so not down for the gang bang
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
