Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
