I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This is the high leading the old right now
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
