I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
