Capitaan dildo arrescate!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
