eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Green mimosas i think yes
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
