This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
