fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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