Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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