you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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