They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
bring money and cleavage
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You are a genius and a whore.
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