They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
