just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
