So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
