she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
