So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
operation harelip BJ is a go
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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