you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
