Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
