haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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