We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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