Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
