this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
