BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
