How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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