I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
