Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
