You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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