Can i not drive my cunt home
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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