NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
PANTIES FOUND
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