She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
