Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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