I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
