and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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