I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
