By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
