When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
