She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
