Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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