sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
