this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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