don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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