Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize