I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
