I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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