he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
