fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
