My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
