I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
