I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
