I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
