You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
