C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
