These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
