it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
birth control should be required to get into college
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
