I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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