repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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