1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
