it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
