I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize