You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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