You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
not ubering you a puppy
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
