She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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